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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

 

Thoughts While Alone in my Room.....


- I have never been a big Shaq fan. But his game has come full circle this year in the playoffs. He has accepted his role in the Heat offense. He is letting the offense run through him and making Wade, Walker and Payton better players. He is also playing better defensively than he has at any other point in his career.

- I never thought I would see the Pistons melt down the way they are in this series. When you are averaging 80 points in a series against a team like the Heat, I don't care how good you are defensively. Flip Saunders is not the problem. Prince, Billups and Hamilton need to start scoring points.

- Poker has not been going well. I made a decision to stop depositing. I'm going to keep playing freerolls, because I still like to play, but I suck something awful. I need to expand my poker library, read a little more, but it will be a while before I play seriously again. I can't really figure out what I am doing wrong and that is probably the problem.

- If the baseball gods had any sense of justice, they would have Bonds break the home run record as a DH, in a Royals uniform, at Kaufman Stadium, against the Devil Rays in front of 8,000 people. Go Barry....GO!!!

- Read a story in a back issue of Sports Illustrated today. It was about Sam Kellerman, the brother of Max Kellerman, the renowned boxing analyst and formally the host of I, Max and Around the Horn, who was brutally murdered a year ago by a boxer he befriended and was tryng to help out. I highly recommend you take a look at it. Sam and Max came from a tremendous family, all very talented, and he was taken before he was able to make his mark. It's in the April 17th issue.

- 57 days until the first NFL training camp. Ahh....fall bliss.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

 

Open Letter from a Fat Man to his Penis


Dear Penis,

Because I have not seen you since I was ten, I wanted to send this to you so you would know I have not forgotten about you. You are the first place I wash when I shower.That must count for something. You have opened my eyes to the challenges of others. After our "intimate moments", I know how Stevie Wonder feels when he plays the piano. You are also a real trooper when I find a girl who will actually sleep with me. We may look like a hippo humping a 350 pound oompa loompa, but you are always able to hold up your end of the bargain.I'd like to tip my cap to my red helmuted mushroom warrior, or that's what I think you look like. Though unseen, you are not forgotten.

Yours Truly,
The Fat Man

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

 

A Different NFL Mock Draft..


I'm reading through all the NFL mock drafts and I thought of this neat little exercise. For one round only, if you could bring back any player in their team's history that you can bring back in their prime that would immediately help their team, who would it be? Here is how I see it.

Houston Texans This is a team with a lot of needs and a short history. However, we'll pick out of a pool of old Oilers players. Since we know Reggie Bush is going to be a Texan, let's go defense. I'll take Elvin Bethea. He was an 8 time pro bowl defensive lineman, and the mark of a good defense always starts at the line of scrimmage.

New Orleans Saints The Saints may be getting better very quickly this year. They have always had talent, but they have lacked the leadership and experience to win the big game. I would bring in Sam Mills. Offensively they will put up numbers with Brees, McAllister, and Sean Payton calling the plays. Sam would be another coach out in the field, and a leader in the locker room.

Tennessee Titans With an aging Steve McNair, and a young quarterback in their future, I think bringing in Bruce Matthews would be a perfect way to start rebuilding. You always start the rebuilding process from the line of scrimmage, and Bruce Matthews is about as good as they come.

New York Jets This one is almost too easy. Joe Namath is a no brainer. Just keep him away from hard liquor and Susie Kolber.

Green Bay Packers So many needs here. If Brett Favre retires, bring in......Brett Favre from 1996. If he comes back, bring back James Lofton. Javon Walker is just about out of there, and an aging Donald Driver will not get the job done. I wouldn't argue with possibly bringing back and offensive lineman from the sixties to create a seal here, and a seal here.

San Francisco 49ers This team is a fucking mess. To get this team on track, you need a guy to instill the right attitude. I like Mike Nolan but he has no one to carry his message on the field. Ronnie Lott and his nine fingers would be a good start.

Oakland Raiders The biggest need on this team is in the defensive backfield. There are so many options, but a shutdown corner makes this team 10 times better. Lester Hayes was the best 1 on 1 coverage corner I've ever seen.

Buffalo Bills There are two players that popped into mind almost immediately. I think will go defense and take Bruce Smith, and hope Willis McGahee runs for 1800 yards.

Detroit Lions Can Steve Yzerman play quarterback? No you say? Well, I guess we'll go with Billy Sims by default. And I thought being an Eagles fan was bad.

Arizona Cardinals If you give Kurt Warner time and Edgerrin James some holes, you are looking at a great offense. I would say Conrad Dobler, but let's go with Dan Dierdorf, just so we don't have to listen to him in the booth anymore.

Saint Louis Rams Another no brainer. Deacon Jones, but you need to legalize the head slap first.

Cleveland Browns Jim Brown left. Jim Brown right. I wish I was alive when he played.

Baltimore Ravens I am going to pick from the Baltimore Colts pool. Get out the high top cleats and the high and tight hair do. I just hope Brian Billick's ego could handle Unitas calling his own game.

Philadelphia Eagles I should go with Reggie White, but we (I mean they) have an immediate need at wide receiver. Mike Quick would be perfect with McNabb.

Denver Broncos With all due respect to Jake the Snake, John Elway would have won the Super Bowl last year, and he would win it this year.

Atlanta Falcons Hmmm, tough one here. Maybe we'll look at wide receiver here. Bad moon Rison? No thanks. Lets take Alfred Jenkins.He was the number one receiver on one of the most underrated offensive teams in the last 30 years.

Miami Dolphins If I was doing this in January, I'd say Dan Marino. But with Culpepper, Ronnie Brown and Chris Chambers, I think Larry Little would be needed to anchor the offensive line.

Minnesota Vikings This is another team that needs an identity and leadership on defense. Let's take Jim Marshall. Just make sure he runs the right way when he recovers a fumble.

Dallas Cowboys Just trying to think how to make this team better makes me sick. But, I will stay professional here and go with Emmitt Smith. I feel so dirty.

San Diego Chargers I would say Dan Fouts, but let's give Rivers a shot. A lot of options at receiver, one of my favorites was John Jefferson. I wouldn't argue if you said Charley Joiner, Wes Chandler or Lance Alworth. If Jefferson would of stayed healthy, and stayed in San Diego, he would be a hall of famer.

Kansas City Chiefs Let's get them some defensive line help. Buck Buchanan would be a nice fit.

New England Patriots They have been decimated on the offensive line. John Hannah would be a great start to bringing this group back to prominence, and to doing commercials.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Not much to choose from here. I'm not sold on Chris Simms, so let's bring back Doug Williams. He may have won a Super Bowl in Washington, but his best years were in Tampa.

Cincinnati Bengals That offensive line would look great with Willie Anderson at RT, and Anthony Munoz at LT. Palmer would throw for 4500 yards on one leg with that kind of protection.

New York Giants I'm feeling sick again. I guess Lawrence Taylor, but you would have to shackle him to his hotel room the night before the game.

Chicago Bears Walter Payton. End. Of. Discussion.

Carolina Panthers I guess I didn't think this through. They could use help at tight end. Wesley Walls. Why the fuck not. It's getting late.

Jacksonville Jaguars Tony Boselli.would anchor that line for the injury plagued back field of Byron Leftwich and Fred Taylor.

Indianapolis Colts They don't deserve a Baltimore Colt. Eric Dickerson is the best I'll do, and that's not bad.

Seattle Seahawks Steve Largent. Who else is there?

Pittsburgh Steelers They have to fill a need at the number two slot at wide receiver. So lets take the second best number two wide receiver of all time (next to John Taylor), that is John Stallworth.

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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

 

A New Beginning....


Baseball was a bigger deal to me when I was younger. Like many Americans, the baseball strike was the final straw for me, and "America's Pastime" has become nothing more than a Sportscenter highlight. In 1981, I could of told you the starting rotation for the Kansas City Royals, the leadoff hitter for the Indians, and the 4th outfielder for the Mariners. Today, I'm not sure if I can give you a name of one Royal, Indian or an Mariner. But there is one part of baseball that has stuck with me for the 32 years that I have been on Earth, and that is "Opening Day". Everyone from a Devil Ray fan to a Yankee fan has the same hopes and aspirations on opening day. For me it cleanses the soul and signifies a new beginning. You forget you're watching overpriced, physically and mentally inflated, petulant children and hone in on the one pure element those assholes can never take away from the game. Balls and Strikes. Sac Flies and Double Plays. Infield Hits and Doubles hit down the left field line. Sliding into home or making a diving catch. You are more aware of the game itself, and less aware of the controversial whirlwind. I took the day off yesterday and pretended I was that 8 year old kid in 1981 that knew the game inside and out. I watched four full games yesterday, and I'm not sure if I'll watch 4 full games the rest of the year. But I woke up this morning with a sense of purpose and hope. Getting a sense of a "New Beginning" will have that effect. Maybe baseball can persevere and become that game I knew and loved.

Tidbits

- As you probably have gathered, I don't read too many blogs. I have a short attention span, and unless something grabs me immediately, I usually click and move on. However, I started reading this blog called Redpill's Poker Journey". It's the funniest god damn thing I ever read. If the author is actually making up these things about his life, than it is pure genius. If he isn't, than it is pathetic and sad. The comments that people leave for this guy are sometimes funnier than the posts. You have to check this out.

- The Tennessee Titans have to be the losers of the month for their unwarranted treatment of Steve McNair this week. After ten years of service and playing through every injury known to man, they sent him home from their offseason conditioning program until he reworks his contract. You always hear players say, when asked about contract negotiations, that it's not personal and always business. It has to be personal in a case like this. This is a guy that has been a productive player, a good teammate, and a model citizen. The Titans should be ashamed of themselves.

- The Sixers will finish the season 5 to 8 games under five hundred, and go into next season owing Iverson 17 million, Webber 20 million, Dalembert 10 million, Greg Buckner 6 million (hasn't played here in almost 3 years), Mashburn 10 million and Todd McCullough about 6 or 7 million ( although insurance covers the pay of both Mash and McCullough because of retirement, there is still a percentage against the cap). If the Sixers G.M. Billy King still has a job next year with this team, than he must have pictures of Sixers president Ed Snider eating a carrot out of a midget's ass (sorry, I meant to say "little people") It's not like Ed Snider is new to the sports scene, he owned the Flyers from the late 60's up until about 10 years ago. I'm not sure why he feels loyal to this guy, but the longer he waits, the worse this team is going to get.

- Oh No!!! Barry Bonds is going to pass the Babe!! Oh No!! He's only 45 homers from catching Aaron. It's a catastrophe!! What are we going to do???? You know what you'll do? Nothing. Zilch. Zip. Why in the hell do people care about these records anyway. Anyone who loses sleep over this has bigger problems in life. I don't care if he's a fucking prick. I don't care if he took Testosterone, Methadone, Vicodin, Horse Tranquilizers, Beaver Tranquilizers, Rhino Sperm, or any bodily fluid that discharges from Rosie O'Donnell. You want to know about the Barry Bonds stat I care about? How many championships has Barry won?........answer......0!!! To me, the media is making a big deal out of a stats stuffer with a piss poor attitude that has no regard for his teammates, his organization, his league, and most importantly his fans. Breaking that record takes nothing away from the accomplishments of Ruth or Aaron because they will always have 1 milestone Barry will never get to, that is a world championship. Wait a minute, he got close once right? Well, you can put that under his plaque in Cooperstown.


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Thursday, March 02, 2006

 

My Poker Mission Statement (Yes I still play poker)


I stated in a previous post that I have not been playing much poker lately. The reason being, I am not a winning poker player. I know a lot of people will post about all their big scores, and I've had one or two, but overall I am in the majority of people that play online poker and come out losing in the end. I took a long look at my play and realized that my actual poker skills aren't necessarily the problem. Not that I'm a great player, but I can hold my own. My biggest problem has been game selection. For example, I would deposit fifty bucks into Pokerstars, than throw myself into a $11 rebuy tournament, or a $20 180 person sit and go, and I'd piss it away in a day or two. I'd play these games because I am trying to recreate the big score I hit about a year ago in a $30 rebuy on Paradise. After winning $4000 playing for anything less, in my mind, seemed senseless. Just so you know I am not depositing my car payment into my bankroll. I have a decent job, and $50 a week doesn't really hurt me. But it does start to add up. I took the time away from poker to get refocused. I wanted to figure out what I want out of playing poker and, is it attainable? After some reflection, I have come to the conclusion that I play because:

A. I love the game.
B. I like the social interactions.
C. Feeds my competitive spirit.
D. Provides me with a secondary income

So after reading some books and hitting some poker forums, I have become comfortable with the small victories that will come with beating that games that I can play with my bankroll. I have been back playing for a week and I have already doubled my bankroll, just by playing $6 turbo sit and goes at Stars. Poker has become more fun in the last week than it has been in the year and a half prior. I think I have finally seen the big picture, and hope to be a "winning player".

And by the way, the million dollar tourney I got into through the satellite didn't turn out so good. I went out when I picked up a bluff all in with 9-9 with a J high board. The player turned over k-8 os. K hit the turn. Back to the grind I go!

I'm going to Vegas for the first time for a buddy's bachelor party in 2 weeks. I'm not planning to play much poker, but I will sit down during one of my sober moments (hopefully) at a card table just to say that I did. Most of my time will likely be spent at the sports book betting on March Madness. I'll have a report on that, and I also have to put down a story about the Wing Bowl. I'm sure the anticipation is killing you. :)

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

 

I am still in shock...


I just won a seat to the 1,000,000 guaranteed tournament at Pokerstars. If I last to the first break, I'll be in shock. During the satellite, after the second break, I cracked King's when I tripped my pocket tens on the turn. Other than that, I was making good reads and I was pushing at the right time. I actually felt comfortable playing. I think taking a month off has really helped. I'll take some notes while I'm playing the big tournament and let you know how I do. Maybe I'll post some hourly updates.

Oh and while I'm thinking about it, how the fuck do you get this Pokerstars blogger commercial off my blog. It's driving me nuts. If anyone is reading this and has a clue, let me know, would be highly appreciated!

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

 

Hello Again!!


I guess you are all wondering where I have been for the last two months.......just kidding nobody reads this fucking blog. Just in case you have stumbled across this and are wondering, I really haven't had much to say. I have been on hiatus with poker, and football has been way too depressing to write about. The bright spot has been PSU, but again, what does beating FSU mean? The Noles played much better than expected, they should be really good next year, but how can you feel good about beating a team the was arguably the 3rd or 4th best team in their conference for most of the year? But I guess this year I'll take it.The Eagles are on a downward spiral. I have been in McNabb's corner all season. He had an opportunity to establish himself as the leader of this team, but that ESPN interview was just atrocious. TO is gone Donny Mac, no reason to drudge those problems up now, then call out your teammates for their play. I know you were hurt, but you weren't exactly the second coming of Joe Montana this year. I understand you have been put through a lot with the fans, and the local and national media, but the reason the front office has set you up financially for the rest of your life is because YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOVE THIS PETTY BULLSHIT!!! This team is slipping away by the second, you need to put out this fire YOU started and get behind the core players on this team. Get me a Super Bowl damnit!! Well anyway, I feel a little better now. I want to do a post looking at March Madness, but I'd like to do a little more research and break down the teams I think will be dangerous in the tournament. I also have a story about being at wing bowl, which is a tradition here in Philly. Drinking beer and looking at boobs at 6:30am merits some space on this horrible blog. Talk to you soon.

PS..Todd if your reading this, you were right, the '84 Niners still are the best team of all time. My argument apparently holds no water!! And if anyone other than Todd is still reading, click on his site to the left and check it out (Toddcommish). It's my favorite blog, and worth checking out.

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Comments:
Aww, gosh, what prompted this epiphany?
 
While you are digging the knife in deeper, don't forget to pour the salt too!!
 
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